As a first year student, I vividly remember the nightmare of college applications. Coming to University of Washington, I found myself drawn to Dream Project because the program allowed me to share my experiences with local high school students. I worked with 5-6 students each quarter, and I reached across different communities in the Kent and Evergreen School districts. My greatest struggle was recognizing how different educational experiences are amongst the high school students we work with. Due to every one's background, we are not wholly aware of how to discuss the best secondary pathway with anyway. There is no such thing as telling someone what they "should" do, rather listening to a person's own goals and the best way to get there. I remember one of my mentees was getting scouted for a softball scholarship. She had to teach me all about the recruiting and try-out process. I listened with fascination because I knew absolutely nothing about softball. From other mentees, I learned how to file out WASFA and the military service exams. It's challenging and humbling. You don't know all the answers sometimes. I loved my one-year experience working with mentors, and I wanted to become a volunteer leader, coordinating with high school counselors and local school boards. Sending my application, I became a High School Lead/Education TA!
Being a leader is hard, trying to explain privilege is even harder
As a high school lead and teaching assistant, I became in charge of 20-30 UW students in my freshman year. It was terrifying because I was much younger than most of the students. I was 5'4, 120lbs and this 6'2, 200lb mammoth of a junior showed-up after Greek Week severely hungover with hickies all over his neck. I told him to go home, and when he started yelling in my face, I tried desperately not to cry in front of the other students. After this experience, I felt that the other students I was charge of disliked my policy (and disliked me). It was incredibly disheartening. However, talking with other leaders in the DP community reassured me that my decisions will always make some people unhappy, and in this case, I made the right decision to not let that student attend the local high school visit.
But the greatest struggle was leading discussions on privilege. The discussion on privilege and marginalization begins in these education spaces, but there is so much tension and discomfort when such issues are brought up. It was also extremely weird to spend my weeks going to TA/EDUC meetings and also attend workshops on racial equity training. These are things I would have never done in my free time.
Sometimes my mentors made assumptions about their mentees. I could not prevent them from making assumptions, I could only try and raise-up why phrases "I don't see color," are ultimately harmful. I try to emphasize we must never let our personal beliefs or opinions be shown when interacting with mentees. To ask questions, to hear their point of view first. We only discuss things they bring up, and we let our inquisitive questions remain neutral standpoint. Hopefully, this awareness will encourage the college mentors I work with to understand institutionalized discrimination.
This picture represent about 1/3 of the people who became High School Leads & Teaching Assistants with me. They were a great support and team of people I can rely on and ask for help. They also were there to listen to my frustrations and fears of being a bad a leader. Most importantly, they made me recognize that I made the best decisions I could. It is hard when people you are in charge of are outspoken and critical of your decisions. It's always good to remember there even though they are not with you in the moment, they are with me as support.